Diary of a Man
by SofiaDragon
Summary: Darth Vader crash lands on a neutral plant. He is found by a kind and skilled medic who dislikes mechanical body parts, and is determined to get Vader back on his feet and out of his suit. Finished
1. CRASH!

Hello all! Hope you enjoy this one, it's a different kind of writing then I'm used to, but change can be a good thing, no?

Summary: Lord Vader crashes on a planet and is found by a kind and skilled medic who dislikes mechanical prosthetics.

Diary of a Man In a galaxy that never was... October 12th 

Normally I would never keep a diary. There isn't a point to writing something you don't intend anyone to ever read. However there just isn't anything else to do here. I guess I should start at the beginning. I'm Lord Darth Anakin Vader Skywalker, second in command of the Galactic Empire. I was on my way to Caldria for a surprise inspection when something happened. I honestly don't remember. I had been in a trance for the long journey and the first thing I saw when I woke up was a planet filling my view and a crack in the transperisteel. A medic named Sofia pulled my body from the wreck. My suit was little more than crumpled scrap around me, and she didn't recognize me at all. I gave her my first name, it's better if she doesn't know who I am right now. The only thing worse then a bad medic is a nervous one. I can't leave my bed, and she says I've been out since the second of the month. She doesn't want to sedate me for any longer than what is absolutely necessary. To keep me occupied she gave me this book and a pencil.

October 14th 

I can remember only one time in my life that I've been in more pain. According to Sofia the pain medication she has been giving me was having a reaction with whatever I had been taking before the crash, and might make me heal slower. She's ordered a supply of something called aspirintin. I told her I've never heard of it and she said it's the bark off of a tree. Apparently it is good for my heart too. I just hope it arrives soon, with all of my force energy put into keeping me alive I can't suppress the pain.

October 17th 

Sweet relief, the aspirintin finally arrived. I now have more stitches then I can count. Sofia told me today that I could live an almost normal life, but her boss wants to be sure that they will be paid. Through the force I could feel that her 'boss' was actually a credit company, and made a casual comment that pointed out her lie. Seems she is a bit far in debt thanks to some charity work she did a few years ago. She was supposed to be paid a flat fee for the work, but the company went bankrupt and left her with all the bills for the supplies. I made a sizable withdrawal from an anonymous account I keep for emergencies. I've never seen anyone cry out of happiness like that. It's also been a long time since I've been hugged, kissed, or thanked. All I wanted was not to be kicked out with my chest half cut open.

November 1st 

The money I paid her has enabled Sofia to do a lot more work on me then expected. She is a master surgeon, and with the right tools she's able to work swiftly and accurately on my broken body. According to her it isn't all that broken, just neglected. I told her about some of the things I went through and she laughed. Apparently the surgeon that had originally sewn me up had been careless with his stitches. Most of the scar tissue just needed to be repositioned and treated appropriately. I'm in the middle of a long stint of therapy, and my waking hours are filled with either surgery (which she refuses to knock me out for. She does give me enough pain killers that I don't mind being cut open though, something that is a little unsettling when I think about it.) or moving around to prevent my muscles from weakening.

November 29th 

I have gotten accustomed to the daily routine my life has taken up. In the morning I wake up and take some medicine. Sofia replaces the IV bag and helps me up. I try to walk around the room and then lift some light weights to keep my arm muscles from turning into flabby rubber bands. Then she gives me some mushy brownish food. It's sweet and warm, but best of all I don't have to throw it up an hour later. That's one thing I'm very glad she was able to fix, I nearly forgot how great it is to eat.

After that I watch the news and then get a shower. Well, I sit in the shower because I can neither stand or be submerged. Bathwater could cause infection, and that's the last thing I need. After that I either go into surgery or have stitches replaced, repositioned, or inspected.

Lunch is more brown stuff, then I can go to the main room of the building if I want. There I could read one of the books, watch the other people, or look out the much larger window. For dinner there is even more sweet mush, though she does give me some jelly in it sometimes at dinner.

I'm exhausted from just this little bit of activity, and normally just fall asleep after a few minutes of quiet regardless of the time of day. At night I do put myself into a bit of a trance to keep from waking at the slightest noise.

December 3rd 

I feel great, even if I still can't walk or eat anything more substantial then that mushy brown food she gives me. I can breath so much easier, and am defiantly getting stronger. Sofia doesn't trust artificial body parts, and so is not content with simply re-attaching all the electronics to me and saying I'm cured. She practices the older forms of medicine that call for "reconstruction and replacement of human parts, not the building droids." I like the results, even if it is taking a lot longer. She has decided that she can't ever repay me for the money I gave her, and is doing her best work.

December 25th 

Today is some kind of holiday here. In the past weeks everything I can see though my window has been decorated red and green. Lights are everywhere and there is a large tree covered in decorations, and last night presents were packed beneath it. This morning Sofia came in with a package for me. It was a set of real clothes, not the hospital gown I have been wearing. They fit perfectly, though I don't know where I'd ever use them. I'm always in uniform.

January 1st 

Sofia brought all of her patients to a New Year party in the main hall of the small hospital. It was alright for a bunch of sick people. An old lady was talking to me for a wile. She seemed to think I was a "strong enough young man" and that she probably wouldn't get to see the next winter. I didn't answer, but she didn't seem to care. She said that Sofia could try as much as she wanted, there just wasn't a cure for being worn out. I wore the clothes Sofia gave me.

The strangest thing was one little boy that came up and sat next to me for an hour before speaking. He asked me if I had bad midi-clorians too. It took me a moment to realize he had spoken through the force. I asked him what he meant by that and he looked straight into my eyes and asked me the same thing again. He then said that he was brought there because his body had lots of "those little things" and it got him in a lot of trouble. I told him that I did have a lot, but that I was there because my ship crashed. He smiled and said that he should be going home soon.

January 8th 

I feel horrible again. Sofia has toned down my medication, she says that I should try to live with as little medication as possible. Supposedly it will make my healing go faster. I sleep a lot so I don't have to ache all the time.

January 19th 

She was right, I did get used to living without all the pain killers. I'll be here for months still, but Sofia thinks I will be able to live with minimum assistance. I have been told that before, and then she said that an inhaler would be all I'd need. She demonstrated to me what I would need at the end if all went well, and I was stunned. It would fit in the front hip pocket of a standard uniform! Then once a night I might have to use this thing . . . it sprayed a mist of medicated air that I would breath for a half hour to an hour, depending on how bad things are, and is called a nebula-something or other. I have needed an atmosphere suit and respirator for the past five years. The idea of living without it is amazing.

February 3rd 

I've been either asleep or too far sedated to write. I've never been a quitter so I think I'll write when I can even though I have other things to occupy me. I find I have even begun to enjoy this. I can walk again, without any help. I've been walking around the garden in back of the hospital, and that's where I'm writing this. It reminds me of the garden Ami kept. I've been thinking of her often actually. I miss her. That's nothing new, but being alone a lot and outside of the military . . . I guess I just have too much free time on my hands. Normally I can just immerse myself in my work, then I don't have to think of her. I've been too wrapped up in everything to realize it, but I'm lonely.

* * *

~ So what do you think? What is happening to our beloved sith lord? There are two endings to this story, and I will post both over the next few days, as this is not a long one. Enjoy! 


	2. The Confused Sith Lord

Alright, some review responces are in order!  
Katharine: I will admit that Darth Vader is not acting exactly like his usual sithly self. He's been unconsious for ten full days to start with. He is also writing, in the beginning, only to pass the time. Also: these are things he is saying to himself since he does not expect anyone to ever read this. The Force is there. It goes without saying for him, he does not need to debate about it within himself. To explain further would be to spoil my story.  
C-chan: Glad you like it and think so!  
liz: Ding ding sing! We have a winner! That is exactly what happened.  
Jelp: Wouldn't you like to know? You do, well then you'd better start reading!

Diary of a Man

In a galaxy that never was... February 16th 

I took off my respirator for the last time today. Sofia has given me a nebulizer or however that's spelled. It's this thing that sprays medicine at me for an hour through a mask every morning and evening. I've got it on right now. It's not as cumbersome as the respirator, and as my stitches heal and my lungs get stronger I will be able to cut it down to just the evening dose. I have to use the inhaler about once every two hours when this isn't on. I feel so happy knowing I'll never have to use the respirator again.

February 28th 

I've run into a problem. The pure joy I feel in my progression has blocked my ties to the dark side of the force. The dark side thrived on the pain and suffering I had felt in the past, but now that I have become so content I can't reach it. I'm not sure when it happened, but I can't touch the dark side at all. Even more frightening is the fact that I used the light side without realizing it. I was lowering myself into my usual sleep trance and realized that it wasn't the normal cool fire of the dark side. I think I should contact my Master somehow, but I don't want Sofia to know who I am. She is a sweet and innocent creature, and I'm not sure what she would do if she knew.

March 5th 

I was able to send a written message to Coruscant, though it wasn't a priority message. It might be a week or more before it is read. It doesn't matter anymore, I don't think it is a big enough problem right now. The force can wait. My health is my priority right now. If all goes well my physical therapy will be completed in another month or two. The garden is full of beautiful spring flowers now. I'm spending a lot of time with Sofia there. I can also eat some small pieces of meat and fruit with my mush now.

March 12th 

I kissed her today. I'm not entirely sure why. I was jogging around the garden with her. She wanted to make sure I could physically exert myself without hurting myself in the process. I told her I'd like to thank her and then I just leaned down, she is a very small woman, and kissed her lightly on the cheek. She blushed and said I was very welcome. That was hours ago. Now I can only think of why. Granted that she does look like Ami, but I still don't understand it.

March 14th 

I know that there is a psychological way of explaining my attraction to Sofia. She looks a lot like the only other woman I've ever been intimate with. She is always very caring toward me. She has wonderful eyes that I can stare into for hours if given the chance, and the softest hands I've ever felt. Her touch is very gentile, and only very rarely causes me any pain, and It has been a long time since anyone has bothered to show compassion toward me, and her position as a medic requires her to be caring. There is nothing that she has done that shows she is being any more or less then a good medic. I am eating food that at least greatly resembles a real meal. The only difference is that it is cut in very small pieces and eaten in small portions, but five times a day instead of three.

March 20th 

I told Sofia that it has been a long time since I've met a woman as kind as herself, and she said that if the military was anything like she had heard then she wasn't surprised. I tried to continue, but was caught in a coughing fit instead and ended up back in my bed inside. 

March 21st 

Sofia asked me what it was I was going to say yesterday. It's been years since I've blurted out anything without thinking first, but I couldn't help myself. I told her that it had been a long time since I had felt this way toward anyone, and that it was probably the most improper thing to do, but I liked being around her. I went on to say that she was beautiful. She just bent over the edge of the bed and kissed me on the forehead. 

March 25th 

Palpatine answered me. He said that I could return to Coruscant when I was ready, and to use that letter as identification. I told Sofia it was my commanding officer, which is true. She said she would miss treating me, but it was good that I am healthy.

March 26th 

I am using my inhaler only once a day. I can run without getting so out of breath I collapse. Sofia said I looked much better then when she had found me.

I hadn't seen a mirror since I first got my suit, until this afternoon. I have hair, and my scars are nearly impossible to see. My skin is healthy looking too, no longer pasty white from lack of sun. I was amazed, and it took me a while to realize it was actually my reflection and not someone else I was looking at.

March 27th 

I asked Sofia to come with me. She was taken a bit off guard. She said she has obligations here to those under her care. I argued that there are plenty of people in the military and on Coruscant that she could heal, and that she only had two other people in the hospital at the current time. She was silent for a moment, and I pressed on. There had never been more then ten people in the hospital at any given time, they were all cases that were short term, and had all left her farther in debt due to them using her kindness.

I asked her how many people came to her regularly, and she said none. She is a surgeon specializing in reconstruction. Not many people need that. Once she said that I knew I had won. A good number of soldiers did need her talents, and she didn't need to come right away. I'd gladly arrange for her to follow me once she had taken care of those she did have under her care. She said yes, and I am glad to have her along. We leave on the 29th.

March 29th 

I'm ready to go, the shuttle arrives at three. The old man was let out yesterday and the young woman with a sprained ankle and broken leg was transferred to another hospital, so Sofia is coming with me now. I'm wearing the outfit she bought me and carrying the letter from Palpatine to identify myself. She has a casual mint green shirt and skirt on instead of her usual scrubs. Neither of us have much baggage. She has her supplies and some clothes, I have my book and pencil, as well as two other outfits I bought yesterday, both military cut and black. I'm looking at Sofia from a bench near docking bay 26. She said I could eat what I want now, within reason, so we are going to go out to lunch in a few minutes. I don't know what it is she is after, but she has been talking to this craggy old woman for some time now. 

Sofia has bought some seeds from the old woman to complement those she took from the garden at the hospital. She loves flowers; and I'm glad I spent so much time with Ami's florist, I actually understand half of what she's saying. We had lunch at a small café she took me to, and I had something called a hamburger. It was interesting, though not something I'll be eating on a regular basis. The shuttle should arrive soon, and I realized that I'll have to tell her who I am. Here goes nothing . . . 

Well, it could have gone worse. She didn't scream, laugh, or cry. She just looked at me, asked me if I was joking, and then said "I guess we'll find out if you really are Darth Vader when the shuttle arrives." When the Captain addressed me as Vader she passed out. I caught her, and explained that she had not believed me when I told her who I was. The man, who introduced himself as Captain Donnie, said he didn't believe me either, until I flashed the letter. Sofia was given quarters next to mine since she would have to help me if I needed it. 

* * *

~ So what do you think? What is happening to our beloved sith lord? There are two endings to this story, and I will post both over the next few days, as this is not a long one. Enjoy! 


	3. New Hope

Hello all! Hope you enjoy this one, it's a different kind of writing then I'm used to, but change can be a good thing, no?

Summary: Lord Vader crashes on a planet and is found by a kind and skilled medic who dislikes mechanical prosthetics.

Diary of a Man In a galaxy that never was... March 30th 

Sofia has decided that my name doesn't change who I am. Her words were "If I can trust you as Anakin Skywalker, then I can love you as Anakin Vader Skywalker." 

I'm using the light side openly now. It feels right in a way, and I think it was wrong for me to ever use the dark side. It may be weaker in a way, but at least I can be truly calm and happy. I'm not going to Coruscant. I convinced the Captain to let us off at Tatooine. I told him the flat truth, "It's my home planet and I have a few things to pick up there, and I have to contact a few old friends. I'd like them to know about what has happened before they see it on the evening news." Besides I'll have to come up with a way to explain myself to Palpatine. I have to talk to Kitster, my best friend since I was three. I hear he is running an orphanage. Maybe he knows where my son went. I know he's out there somewhere, and he should know his father. 

Sofia and I have decided that our attraction was inappropriate, and plan to be friends and nothing more. After Tatooine we will head over to Alderan so I can talk to Ami. I think that it would be for the best if I try to apologize, particularly since I am technically still married to the woman. April 2nd 

I guess I won't have to ask Ami where my son is, I quite literally ran into him this morning. He was going to a race and I was going to rent a landspeader. He looked so much like me I thought it was a clone at first, but his name is Luke and he lives with his Uncle Owen on a farm outside Anchorhead, where we landed. I came with him to the race, saying that boys his age shouldn't be running around alone and I'd like to see the race myself.

I couldn't have been less interested in a race if it had involved slugs on an incline. The boy was friendly, though cautious. I'll go visit him tomorrow.

Today I saw Kitster, and he nearly died of surprise. He is running an orphanage, back in our old hideout at the edge of Sharp Canyon, about three kilometers from Beggar's canyon. There are twenty to thirty children running him ragged in that old cave, and I was in the center of it for a few glorious hours. They all wanted to know who I was, where I came from, how I got there, what stories I could tell, if I could help them with something, did I know where the stuffed bunny was, and if I could fix this or that toy. Kitster said I was welcome to stay and help, but I only needed to stay the night. Besides, a few days there would make me completely insane.

I sent a letter to Palpatine explaining that I want to enjoy my second chance in life, and that I would be resigning my commission in the military to do so. I also said that I would return to Coruscant in a week or so. I have all my identification so there is no real rush to get back there.

April 3rd 

I went over to see Luke. Owen jumped out of his skin when he saw me walking up. He was even more unnerved when Luke came out and said "Hey, it's that nice guy from the racetrack." It seems that he had told them about seeing me yesterday. I told him I was his father, and that I'd come to pick him up. Owen said I couldn't have him, and I told Owen that I wouldn't let him stop me. Luke twisted his little arm out of Beru's hand and ran over to me. I was shocked as he clung to my leg, screaming that Owen couldn't keep him from his father. I bent down and picked up his tiny body, looking into his brilliant blue eyes.

I told him I was Darth Vader, he said that didn't matter. I told him I wasn't a good person, he said I must be. I told him I might be a traitor to the Empire, he said he didn't care about that. He just wanted to be with his father, and he knew I was his father because his insides told him I was telling the truth and Owen was lying. I brought him back to the ship.

What happened next was one of the strangest situations in my life. When he saw Sofia Luke asked "Is that my Mom?" Sofia, who had been facing away from the door, turned around with a look of pure shock on her face. "No, Luke, this is a good friend of mine. Her name is Sofia." I replied. "Are you sure?" he asked, completely serious. 

"Yes, I am quite sure she is not your mother. She is a medic, and she saved my life. We are going to go see your mother tomorrow." After a few comments from Sofia that I won't write out of decency and respect for both her and my wife, I piloted the ship out of the system and into hyperspace.

April 4th 

I feel great. My son loves me in a way only a four year old can, I am on my way to get back together with my wife, I have my health back, and I have a new direction for my life. We arrived on Alderan during the early morning hours. Luke and I walked through the capitol city, holding and swinging my hand as if he'd known me since his birth. He had never seen so much green, and the situation reminded me of myself when I first came to Naboo. He skipped along quickly to keep up with me, but didn't seem to mind the fast pace I continually caught myself setting. 

We walked through a public garden, he gawked at the beautiful plants as I looked at the royal palace in the distance. He was content to run around a small courtyard in the garden, looking at the bugs and things around him as I read the local news. Ami was not only in the city, but in the palace with Bail Organna. According to the article she helped to take care of their little girl Leia, who was about Luke's age. Probably took the girl into her heart when she had to give up Luke. April 5th 

Luke and I took our morning walk after breakfast to the garden, but after lunch we went to the palace. He was quite curious as to why we were there, but I told him that we would see Mommy and he was quiet. I requested a meeting with Ami, giving the names Anakin and Luke Skywalker. We were told to wait in what was the largest and most decorated room Luke had ever been in. He had barley begun to walk around when we were shown into Ami's quarters.

Bail was standing on one side of Ami as I walked in, and apparently didn't see Luke, who was walking behind me. They were surprised to see I wasn't in my suit, distressed that I had found Luke, and outraged that I brought him here. I told her I loved her and Luke, and not to yell in front of him. He had clung to my leg when she started on me, and I gently pulled his arms from around my leg, explaining that he was cutting off the blood. I picked him up and explained what had happened. Everything from the crash to sending the letters to Palpatine to finding Luke and coming to see her. Luke nestled his head on my shoulder as I talked, something Ami didn't seem to like.

"Luke, why don't you talk to Mom a while?" I asked when I had finished and a long silence made him squirm around in my arms. He jumped down and walked over to her. He asked her a single question that did more then any explanation I could have produced. 

"Why aren't you happy?" She stuttered a bit, and Luke started explaining why was happy. It was such a simple explanation, so easy to understand and devoid of prejudice that she couldn't deny it. "I'm happy because Father isn't sick any more. He got away from the bad people and came to pick me up. He took me from the desert and brought me to this pretty place with lots of flowers and water and things I've never seen before. He brought me here to see my Mommy. I wasn't happy before he came, and I don't ever want to be away from him again." She just looked at him a while, then gave him a hug. I waked over and gave her a hug, then kissed the top of her head.

Bail offered to give us a room, and before I could say anything Luke asked if Sofia could come too. I attempted to skirt the issue, as I had left the part about bringing her along out of the little narrative, but things got a bit ugly. I said that she was my medic and my friend, nothing more or less, but Ami wasn't so easily convinced. So it is two steps forward and one step back.

April 6th 

Sofia burst out laughing when they suggested that we were more then friends. I'm glad that that problem was cleared away so easily. Luke and Leia played together on the palace grounds wile I and Ami talked. There was so much to say, but we always ended up talking about little things, like what the children were doing. By the end of the day I could kiss her on the lips without protest, and had my arm around her. Then came the real surprise. Luke and Leia are twins! Ami told me that she had to give them up to keep them safe, but she couldn't just abandon them. She had let Leia be adopted my Bail, though the girl knew that Ami was her real mother. What a shock . . . Two children! I told Luke when I tucked him into bed, and he was overjoyed. He thought Leia was "pretty neat for a girl."

April 7th 

I've finally got my life together it seems. I can't say I could have imagined a better existence. I and Luke will hop from planet to planet, keeping one step ahead of Palpatine and building up our skills in the force. Ami and Leia will stay on Alderan and work to take down Palpatine politically. Once I gather my assets (I diverted all my pay into various accounts so that if Palpatine wanted to get the money back he'd hit enough firewalls, pass codes, ID checks, and red tape to hold even the most ambitious computer tech at bay for a week or so), check into Coruscant for my personal belongings, and skip around to get what I can out of my Imperial ties, I will seek out the rebellion.

When I deflect I will take a great amount of Imperial money, men, and morale. Luke will grow and learn by my side. I will teach him to fly and fix any ship he encounters, to live by honor and tradition, and to be a Jedi Knight.

And there will be nothing that Palpatine or Kenobi can do about it.

* * *

~ So what do you think? What is happening to our beloved sith lord? There are two endings to this story, and I will post both over the next few days, as this is not a long one. Enjoy! 


	4. The End

A/N  
  
There will be no alternitive ending, as I have lost the original manuscript and don't feel like re-writing the blasted thing. The alternative included the following:  
  
Ami: Died in childbirth  
  
Medic: Becomes Vader's girlfriend  
  
Luke: doesn't find out about Leia but goes with his dad  
  
Obi-Wan: agrees to stay the smack out of the rebellion under threat of painful death by Vader's hand  
  
Vader: Changes his name back to Anikin and decides to fight the Empire outright.  
  
On the off chance I find that blasted hand-written thing, I'll post it. I doubt I'll find it though, as I've cleaned my whole house and come up empty. Even the attic. :p 


End file.
